Grief in the Workplace: Why We Need to Start Talking About It

Grief is part of life, including at work. What happens when a colleague dies, an employee loses their mother, or someone on the team suddenly stops showing up? And how can companies respond meaningfully without overwhelming people?

In an interview with famPlus, I sat down with Tanja Gerlinger and Johannes Winklmair to talk about exactly that: grief in the workplace, the role of leaders, and why this topic finally deserves the space it needs.

Prefer listening over reading? You can find the full interview here:

Why Grief Is Not a Private Matter

Imagine this: it's Monday morning, team meeting. Someone asks what's on the agenda. And a colleague says quietly: "I've lost my mother. I'm grieving." The topic is immediately pushed aside, no time for that.

That is the reality in many companies. We have hundreds of meetings on time management, feedback, and productivity. When it comes to what makes the person we spend 40 hours a week with who they are, though, silence falls quickly.

The truth is: grief comes regardless. Sooner or later, every person in a company is affected, as someone grieving themselves, as a colleague, or as a leader. The only question is whether we are prepared when it happens.

What Grief Does to the Body, and Why That Affects Work

Grief is not just a feeling in the head. It is physical. Anyone who knows deep joy, that tingling sensation when something wonderful happens, also knows its opposite: the pressure on the chest, the heavy breathing, the tension.

Grieving people are often unable to perform at their full potential. They make more mistakes, struggle to concentrate, are physically present, yet inwardly far away. And that affects the company in very real ways:

• Who takes over when someone is suddenly absent?

• Who calls the clients?

• Who looks after the team when a team member is suddenly gone?

These are not emotional questions. They are operational questions. And that is precisely why grief in the workplace is a business issue.

Numbers That Show: This Affects All of Us

Sometimes it helps to see reality in numbers. These figures are specific to Germany, where the interview took place, but the underlying pattern holds across most countries.

• One in three women in Germany experiences a miscarriage before the 12th week of pregnancy, an often invisible loss, even in the middle of working life. (Source: German Association of Gynecologists, BVF)

• Over 10,000 people die by suicide in Germany every year, leaving behind family members, colleagues, and friends. (Source: Federal Statistical Office of Germany)

• Over 500,000 people are diagnosed with cancer in Germany each year, around a third of them of working age between 20 and 64. (Source: Robert Koch Institute)

This means: in every office, every department, every team, there is someone who is quietly carrying something. We just often don't see it.

What Companies Can Do Right Now

The good news: no large strategy documents or complex programmes are needed. It starts with small steps.

1. Develop a contingency plan

Who steps in when a colleague is suddenly absent? Which tasks need to be redistributed, and how? These are factual questions, and they can be answered during calm times, so that no one has to improvise in a crisis.

2. Raise awareness among leaders

Leaders are not therapists, and they don't need to be. What they can do: pay attention. Ask, "How are you really doing right now?" And, "What do you need?"

A simple, honest approach can achieve more than any process manual.

3. Offer flexible solutions

Adjusted working hours, remote work, a break on a difficult day, these are options that can help stabilise grieving employees. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. What one person needs is not what another needs.

4. Enable professional support

Grief companionship, grief groups, external resources, these are not signs of weakness, but of strength. In the famPlus podcast, we share the story of a pilot project: 20,000 employees were informed about grief groups via newsletter. The spots were fully booked within four minutes. Eight groups, all full, for weeks. That shows just how great the need is.

What You Can Do as a Colleague, Even Without a Leadership Role

Not everyone carries people management responsibility, but everyone can make a difference. You don't need perfect words or a ready-made solution. A few simple things tend to help more than people expect:

• Say something instead of staying silent. A simple "I heard what happened. How are you doing?" is enough. Staying silent out of fear of saying the wrong thing usually feels worse to the grieving person than an awkward but honest question.

• Don't treat grief like it has a deadline. Comments like "You've been back a while now, feeling better?" put unspoken pressure on someone. Grief doesn't follow a calendar.

• Offer something concrete instead of a vague gesture. "Call me if you need anything" rarely gets used. "I'll take your client call on Thursday" usually does.

• Check in again after the first few weeks. Support is often highest in the first week and fades quickly after that. That's often exactly when things get hardest, once everyone else expects life to look normal again.

What a Grief Group Really Looks Like

Many people imagine a grief group as a heavy, sombre gathering. The reality is quite different.

Yes, everyone is nervous at the start. Everyone wonders: "Can I cry here? Do I have to speak? What if I don't want to say anything at all?"

And then: someone begins to speak. The atmosphere relaxes. There are tears, and a great deal of laughter. Memories are shared. People realise: I am not alone. What I feel is normal. That feeling of not being alone with it is often what brings the most relief, more than any well-meant advice from the outside.

A group runs for six sessions of 90 minutes each. Many people say after the very first session that it was the best thing they did for themselves during that time.

You could call it a first-aid course for the grieving. Only gentler.

Conclusion: Grief Belongs at the Centre, Not on the Margins

We live in a time when companies speak more than ever about humanity. About wellbeing, belonging, psychological safety. And that is a good thing.

Humanity does not end where loss begins. On the contrary: that is precisely where it starts.

Grief in the workplace is not a niche topic. It is the topic. Because we are all human, with histories, with people we love, with losses. And because work can be a place that holds us. If we allow it.

Would you like to bring the topic of grief into your company, as a workshop, talk, or grief companionship? I look forward to hearing from you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Grief in the Workplace

Do I have to tell my employer that I'm grieving?

No, you're not required to. That said, letting your employer know even briefly can help, so your workplace understands your situation and you don't have to keep explaining why you're less resilient right now.

How much time off is normal after a death?

This depends on your country, company policy, and how closely you were related to the person who died, typically a few days of paid leave for close family. How long the actual grieving takes is separate from that and has no fixed end date.

What if my manager doesn't know how to respond?

That's normal, and it isn't a sign they don't care. Most managers were never trained for this. An honest conversation about what you actually need often helps more than a perfectly prepared response would.

Does this apply to less visible losses too, like a miscarriage?

Yes, absolutely. Losses like a miscarriage, a separation, or the death of a more distant relative are often overlooked at work because they're less visible. The grief behind them isn't smaller because of that.

How do I talk to a grieving colleague without getting it wrong?

There's no perfect way to say it. A simple, honest question like "How are you really doing?" is usually enough. What matters more than finding the right words is asking at all, and then actually listening to the answer.